Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
