U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
