He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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