Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
someone owes me an orgasm
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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