I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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