yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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