were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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