i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
