I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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