it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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