You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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