it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Houston, we have a blender
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
