dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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