She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
