need another drink. this is the easiest way
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
