sarcasm needs its own font
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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