I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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