i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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