he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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