dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
