hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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