You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
