I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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