so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
