i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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