During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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