dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She bit a glass in half.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
