the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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