I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
