How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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