If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
