I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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