the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
