the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
