I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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