do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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