yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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