can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
