Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
