handjob tips. give me some.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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