what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The air was thick with penises
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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