I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
