I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
