Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
