Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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