I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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