Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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