I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
