I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
