I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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