just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
