I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
