Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My life is pants optional.
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