shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
