I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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